My Utah Bully

9 Responses to “My Child is Being Bullied”

1. Billy Says:
   January 30th, 2006 at 10:43 pm

   The problem I am having is my Kids walk home on the same path as this Kid and this Kid does anything from throwing rocks, to calling my Kids names to pushing them and kicking them. The School has told me that because it didn’t happen on school property that there is nothing the School can do. The Police told me that because my Kids have fought back that they are now as guilty as the kid who has been doing this. In other words my Kids are supposed to just let this Kid throw rocks, spit wads, etc. and there is nothing we can do about it.

   I am at my wits end and don’t know where to turn. I feel that my Kids should have the right to walk home from school without feeling threatened but until this Kid Physically does something to harm my Kids they cannot help and then I have to prove that it was intentional. So how is a parent supposed to prevent this if the Police and Schools can do nothing.

   Case and Point: My Kids were walking home from school and this Kid (12 years old) picked up a rock and tossed it at my 6 year old son hitting him on top of the head leaving a sizable goose egg. The Police told me that unless we could prove that the Kid intentionally meant to hit my Kid that they could do nothing.

   This last incident this Kid threw a ball several times at my 12 year old daughters head, My daughter then pulled out some perfume and told him to stop or she would spray him with it. He then proceeded to grab my daughter so she sprayed him. He then grabbed the perfume out of my daughters hand and threw it across the street and then started kicking my daughter, so my 9 year old daughter jumped in and started trying to get him off of her sister and started kicking and hitting him. He then pushed my 9 year old to the ground and then started punching her and kicking her, he then grabbed her head and started pounding it against the side walk and then started pulling her hair. Then as he started to leave he took his foot and stomped on her head.

   This Kid then went home and told his mother that my kids ganged up on him and beat him up. She then filed a Police report so I went down to the police station and spoke with an officer. He told me that because my daughter hit him and sprayed perfume at him that my Kids are as liable if not more for the incident regardless of who started it.

   I am lost as where to turn or what to do,

2. Thomas & Trudy G. Says:
   February 1st, 2006 at 3:42 pm

   My daughter has been suffering from the effects of tuborous-sclerosis since she was 4 yrs old. This genetic disorder causes seizures. My daughter “T” has had trouble from kids that just don’t know how to react to her seizures. Children that had been her close friends have been swayed by bullies not to interact with her. I understand the fear that children feel. At one moment she is a normal functioning kid. But at any time T could have a seizure.

   We are lucky that at this younger age she or her siblings haven’t been subjected to acts of violence. But, the constant name calling, retard, handicap, shaky-kid. The bullies have written notes containing profanity and threatening violance. I ‘ve lost count of how many times she has come home asking not to go back to school or crying. I am a pretty large guy and I wish I could grab the parents by the collar and share with them what their kid is doing to mine. But, my wife reminds me that I would be perpetuating the actions we are fighting against.

   My wife and I made sure that we made the school aware of T’s situation. We made sure they had all our phone numbers and cell numbers. T had a seizure one day when there was a substitute in the class. NOBODY let the substitute know the situation. The SUB paniced which in turn made the principle panic. ALL the children saw the adults panic so what do you think happened. The teasing and ridicule increased exponentially. It has been suggested that we might be overreacting. I think the school allowing this treatment to continue is under-reacting.

   This is the 6th grade year and next year is Jr High. What do we have to look forward too? We have been actively seeking an appointment with the principle of the JR.High, now to get things off to a good start. In Jr. High the kids are older. They are bigger. They can be meaner as well. I do not want the levels of bullying to climb to include violance.

   I beleive that the majority of children are good and kind. But the presence of bullying makes the goodd kids pull back and not stand up for the kids that can’t stand up for themselves. My daughter is a strong girl, stronger than me. When she stands up to bullies it only encourages them to make it harder on her. I don’t want her to stand alone any more…

3. Danielle Oviatt Says:
   April 10th, 2006 at 8:00 pm

   Bill, T&T (hope you don’t mind the nickname),
   your stories chilled me. I wish I could say they were uncommon though.

   Bill I had a similar problem to your kids’ when I was in elementary school. The parents in this case were not resistent, so that was something. My father was also ready to hunt this boy down and do serious damage. My school was more helpful. I they didn’t really do anything, but apparently they were aware of this boy as he had behavior problems in the past, including threatening to beat up others. I don’t know that they punished him, but he was informed that they knew what was going on and he had better stop it. They also called his parents. This stopped him from tormenting me again, but I was told if he did it again I was tell him not to once, then mention that we would be suing him if he didn’t stop.

   Maybe the school can’t do anything to punish this kid, but could they help you in some other way.

   Also, I’m not a law enforcement expert, but I don’t think that police officer had his information straight. There is such a thing as self-defense. If nothing else you might be able to sue.
   But that should be the last resort. First document everything. What happened, when did it happen, who was there, etc. Also, talk to other parents in the neighborhood and school. Have they or their children had trouble with this Kid. If so get them to document everything too. Then see if you can talk to this kids parents about what’s going on. Don’t frame it as a confrontation. Say something like “It seems our kids are having trouble getting along. Is there sometime we could get together and come up with some kind of solution for this?” It sounds like you are totally in the right and these parents are in the wrong, but if you make it sounds like a joint problem that you both can work together to solve you’ll probably have an easier time getting their cooperation because who wants to hear bad things about their kids even if they suspect they might be true. When you meet take along your documentation and say this is what my kids (and other kids) say happened, what do you say? The evidence may make them more inclined to believe that there’s really something going on that they need to work to resolve. If this fails, take the same documentation to the school administrators, they may not be able to do anything, but they might be able to make suggestions.
   Then try calling the police on your own, again with the documentation. Like I said, I believe that the one you spoke to may not have had the facts right.
   Finally, look into getting a lawyer. Again, your documentation of the incidents is going to be important. Be warned that at present you may not have success in suing the school, though some have, but, and this is one of the reasons we need a specific anti-bullying law in the state, current laws aren’t really designed to deal specifically with bullying. At any rate, good luck.

   T&T your situation sounds terrible too. It is truely frightening that your daughter’s seizure was not responded to appropriately. I know a woman who’s brother is diabetic, and still in the school system, they have had similar problems. Their mother has become the district’s worst nightmare, this may be what you have to do too. I hate to say Jr. High is not the most accepting of environments even for the so called “normal” kids, but generally girls tend to not be as physically violent, and generally physical bullying is less common at that age, but those are statistics.

   My advice is to be proactive. You are right in going talk to the school adminstration before school starts. Let them know what your daughter’s problems are and how you want them to respond. Fill out a 504 plan (I believe that’s what it’s called) which outlines all this. Try to talk to her teachers too about her health problems so they know what to expect and what to do, again be specific so that they know if T. has a seizure, we do A,B, and C. Also, are there any Tuberous Scelrosis support groups? If they are and you haven’t already, join. Even if it’s a national group they’ll still be able to give advice on how they handled things.
   As far as the teasing part, is there some way you or your wife could come in and educate the students about Tuberous Sclerosis? This might at least take away the shock value inherent in any affects T. might have. Are there any extra-curicular activities that your daughter might enjoy (school sponsored or otherwise)? This may give her an outside source of confidence and friends. I wish you luck on this and I am very sorry that your daughter has to be this strong.

4. linda mckinney Says:
   May 23rd, 2006 at 8:30 pm

   My grandson Joey who is 10, who has lost his little brother to cancer, has been though a lot, he is very sensitive and compassionate, but at school this is not a admired quality and he is teased and punched because he is special needs, he has a cleff palate and is on medication for a severe bleeding disorder. One wrong punch, landed hard enough by this boy named “skillful” could kill joey,he could have a severe bleed and die before we could save him. I hate haveing to send him to school knowing he is being abused and the teacher is doing nothing cause she is intimadated by the same boy, who has been held back and is older and stronger and wiser than joey. I am sick to my stomach, knowing all day long day in and day out joey is subjected to demeaning, degradeing remarks, vulgure and dehumanizing at the hands of this boy in his class, instead of doing anything about it the teacher has sectioned my grandson off from the rest of the class, so she doesnt have to hear his crying and complaining of being harrassed and hit, which only made it worse, cause now he feels so embarrassed and the boy can get at him even more privately, i can only imagine what happens in the bathroom, joey holds his urine all day and if he has to do number 2 must hold it too, i cry at the thought of this punishment administer by the boy who hates joey. Joey is no match for this kid, and the teacher knows whats going on, he has punched, kicked and spit in his food and joey is forced to eat it, or go hungry, it is so demorilizing i cant stand it, he lives with my youngest daughter and she just said he needs to learn to deal with it, sooner or later. I can’t stand it, joey is such a sweet kid and must pay for this boys abuse in so many ways. who names their child “skillful” ? This boy punches joey in the face, stomach and pulls his pants down in front of everyone, what do i do, where does it end? what can i do to prove the teacher just sits there and watches and does nothing?

5. Michele M Says:
   April 23rd, 2007 at 5:36 pm

   Hi. My name is Michele. I have a son of 10 years old in the 4th grade. We just moved to Utah 5 weeks ago. I enrolled my son in school here and ever since….this has been pure emotional terror for my child. My son tells me about yet another bullying incodent that happened that day in school. My son is shy and he does not stand up for himself. I do not believe that my 4th grader should have to physically fight his way through each day. He is just a child and does not need this everyday constant stress.
   My son has been hit, punched, pushed to the ground and kicked in the stomach, held in a head-lock while 4 other students kick him, called hatefull abusive names, made fun of, harrassed, threatened and intimidated during school hours. I have wrote 2 very long letters to his teacher about what is happening to my son in school. I have given her my contact numbers and urged her to help me. She has not responded to me in anyway. I have tried calling the school on my lunch breaks at work and always get a busy signal.
   Today my son was beat up during recess and then again after school. I called the school and finally got through to an answering machine. I left a message that I would not be bringing my child to school the next day and explained in detail everything thst has happened and how the teacher has ignored my strides to get this stopped. The teacher knows what is happening to my child and does nothing. This to me is the same of condoning and supporting this behavior just by letting it continue right under her nose. I called my boss and asked for time off work tomorrow so I can raise hell with the school.
   I thought these acts and behaviors where illegal.
   This is nothing less then torture of my child on a daily basis!

   Any suggestions?
   Help,

   Michele

6. wyesia Says:
   June 18th, 2007 at 3:54 pm

   i have a 4 year old daughter that is being threating by a 12 year old girl and she being scared of her because she threating to kill her but my daughter cannot play outside with messing with her but she had left the girl alone because she did not want to bothered with her so i have talked to both of the parents but it did not seem to work so i was wondering shat should i do because this child would not listen to her parent. but she have not been going around the girl or nothing but she is still picking on her so i was wondering what should i do as for the safe of my daughter because i do not want t fight the 12 year old because i do not want to go to jail so what should i do

7. cindy Says:
   April 10th, 2008 at 8:23 am

   My son is a middle schooler and comes home everyday crying about a boy that is picking on him all the time. I have gone to the school and talked to them about this and it seems like they do nothing about this what more can I do to help my son?

8. Kyle Says:
   April 20th, 2008 at 11:14 pm

   Im 13 I know This Is For Adults to Say But Im Saying it im School I Didn’t Let This Kid Have “2″ Dollars To Have Lunch so He Pushed Me My Freind Tylor Who is 13 Also Is Boxing Has Also Said to This Kid I WilL Call “a” to Stop and said ” if you Dont leave my Freind alone I Will Have to Hurt you as you hurt Kyle” He Told Teacher and i told Teacher They Dont care that now HES HARRASING ME CAUSE I DONT GIVE HIM MY MONEY FROM HIM Yesterday At Locker Break He Slamed My Head in Locker Said Give It up But Im Brave Kid And i Push Him aside and said Dont Touch me and Your Not Getting my Money and Yesterday last Period I gave it to him and Then He Hit Me May i Quote ” Lightest Punch In World” but i dont want the fact that hes doing this i have told Teachers This and They Confronted him and They Say He Didnt do anything I Told My Dad And Mom They Say I Give You Permission to Hit him if he does anything more then 2 punchs in Sequince I dont Wanna Hurt him But in Side me I do But im Not should I Hit him I really would like to stop oh And Before he Has done this about 4 other kids and me twice Should I hit him back and get Suspended or Get Picked on And I Dont Wanna Tell The Police Cause They Didnt even Help Before when HE stole my Ipod From My BackPack Please Someone Help me

9. Weldon Guzman Says:
   November 12th, 2008 at 7:00 pm

   xhcg7d6kyv5k7t3q

Leave a Comment