Dear Bully Police Members,

There is disagreement among us (not unexpected) regarding the billboard that “Bullying Begins at Home.” This sign refers to the students who bully; not the targets for bullying.

Some of you believe that it is true that bullying begins at home, and have given articles that support this position. Some of you absolutely disagree that bullying begins at home, stating that this is just another way that schools foster the idea that they are not really accountable for bullying in school–a bill board of this kind fuels schools’ belief that they do all they can to help with what is just another problem brought to them.

It is critical that we reach some agreement to take a position on what we believe about the causes of bullying in schools. While it is true that parental modeling influences children’s behavior, it is also true that news media, television and video entertainment, commercials, etc, are all powerful influences on developing minds, and the power of the media may be sufficient to offset parental values of the highest order. The current media trend is mockery and bullying as a prized form of entertainment. I have done groups with students in private and public schools where children say that their parents have absolutely no idea about what they do in schools. It is also true that students who bully can be remarkably well behaved in contexts other that school.

Because a split of this kind can diminish the effectiveness of our advocacy, I would suggest that we communicate on this blog to explore the possibility of a united position, if possible. Please let me know your thoughts.

Catherine A. Hogan, MSW, LCSW

A series of KSL Eyewitness News reports in February 2005 by Debbie Dujanovic focused on schoolyard bullying. Over a period of days, KSL’s cameras focused on schools, randomly chosen, in three different districts. KSL documented more than 90 incidents of bullying on the playgrounds at nine of the ten schools observed.

I was overwhelmed by the number of outraged parents who commented on the KSL website, and for some reason unknown to me then, made a copy of the comments which I have posted below.

I am unable to locate Part I of the three-part series. Here are links to Part II and Part III for your reference.

—— Begin Comments from KSL website February 2005 ——-

Bullying more than just a school problem — John of Ogden, UT As an elementary school counselor I see the effects of bullying on almost a daily basis. I am also the parent of a victim of repeated bullying and harassment. The fact is bullying hurts. It hurts the victim, it hurts the bystanders who witness it, it hurts families, and it hurts our community. Most schools do thier best to pervent kids from bullying each other. Research based anti-bullying curriculum modules are readily available but, often they are expensive to purchase. One of the curriculum modules that I use is a two level model addressing bulling in grades K-2 and 3-6. It costs about $1500.00. Other programs can be found for about $30+ (The Bully Free Classroom, Bully Proof, Don’t Laugh at Me). Most schools have clearly defined rules and expectations for students. Unfortunately, bullying tends to take place away from teachers and other adults at school. Often children are either unaware of what to do when they are bullied or when they see it happening. Children need to be taught that bullying is not “normal”, how to report it, and to whom they should report. Parents also have to teach their children about bullying. Often parents send conflicting messages: “Don’t hit anyone — unless they hit you first.” “Be nice but, don’t let anyone push you around.” Parents and siblings may even be teaching kids that it is O.K. to be a bully by bullying at home. Are there solutions? Yes, but parents, teachers, and students must unite to stop bullying in schools. Parents should set a positive example in the home by treating others with respect. Monitor your child’s activities such as television viewing, the movies you allow them to watch, and the video games you allow them to play. Educators and parents must work to create an environment that does not encourage bullying behaviors. You can do this by getting involved in your school’s PTA, talk to the administration at school, talk to the school counselor, and talk to teachers. Most importantly — talk to your child about bullying. Let them know that it is wrong to bully and what to do if they become the target of bullying and harassment.

Parent of Hillfield Elem students — Caroline of Hill AFB, UT Hill Field Elementary is the exact opposite of everything I have read here and have seen on TV. This school is exemplary in its involement with its students. As mentioned before this school also has the Peace Builders program. They get awarded!!! for stopping or reporting bullying. They get rewarded for finding things that are lost and turning it in. This school is amazing. The recess monitors know my kids by name. Most of the kids, probably 98% are all military kids from Hill AFB. They go through tremendous emotions with parents leaving and going to war. This is the schoolwhere you would think you would see their emotions being taken out on the play ground etc….but this school is so involved with our kids that rarely ever hear of anything like that. Jst last week my daughter (kindergarten) came home to tell me about this girl who called her a REALLY bad name..starts with an *F*. I emialed her teacher and got a response the next day. I talked my daughter about certain things she had been doing such as pushing in line etc..and it has stopped. I KNOW that kids have faults…and THEY know that is they are ver called to the principals office due to bad behavior that there will be sever consequences. Ijust wanted to say that our Principal MrPaul Bryner in an excellent principal. our recess guards are excellent and that since my oldest has started at Hill Field 4 years ago, I have never been ignored, not have my kids felt they were unsafe at school and they have blast and learn in a fun and safe environment. I get daily e mails from my daughters kindergarten teacher. my 4th grade daughters teacher is just an e mail away..or if I have a question..I can drive there and talk to her. If utah needs a school to look at to learn from, come on over and take a look at Hill Field Elementary!!!

A possible link — Kent of Pleasant Grove, UT It has been interesting to read the responses on this subject. Some have mentioned the money issue. But more money will not ensure good behavior of the children, that is supposed to be learned in the home. Some have mentioned the apathy of the school officials. But, they cannot discipline children with “the paddle” or other sharp consequences for bad behavior because that would be misconstrued as “child abuse” and the threat of lawsuits is ever omnipresent. Someone wondered why the KSL crew just filmed the behaviors and did nothing to stop the incidences. They justify their actions by saying “we are doing something to stop it. We caught it on film so NOW something can be done about it”. But that doesn’t relieve their responsibility of stopping the situation or at least alerting someone at the moment of occurrence. The underlying problem is not the schools, they are simply the outlets for this bad behavior.

I wonder if there is a possible link between the proliferation of the video rental and cable/satellite TV industry and the increase in violent behavior? What about violent video games? It used to be that children couldn’t see rated R movies except in the theaters, where they were exposed generally only once. Now parents can rent these movies and expose their children to this violence multiple times. Do you not suppose that the children are simply acting out the violence that they see and learn from these sources? As parents how often do we sit down and hold their faces in our hands and tell them we love them? Or read them a book instead of using the “babysitter”. How often do you go outside and play with them? Are we so disengaged from our children’s lives that we just give them a cursory hello when we see them? I’m sorry to say that this reminds me of the biblical scripture that says “…in the last days, the love of man(kind) will grow cold…” The problem and the solution starts and ends in the home. Maybe we should also employ a simple solution. When a child misbehaves instead of suspending the child from school, require the parent to leave work and spend time in the childs class or on the playground.

More than Recess — Stephanie of Cottonwood Heights, UT Bullying is a serious problem, but it is more than recess. Children reflect what they are taught at home, what they learn from video games, and what they learn TV and movies. If parents want this problem fixed, they need to fix what goes on at home. They need to talk to their children and stop looking at children through rose-colored glasses. My mother is a teacher, and I am studying Child Development at the University of Utah. I know of many parents who refuse to accept that their “baby” could do anything mean to another human being, and it must be the other child’s fault. If you want to really fix the problem, fix society. Children learn from society, and if there are problems like these, we need to fix the source they learn it from. Also, increase funding for public education. There can’t be quality programs without quality funding. The government needs to stop paving the highways every six months and give money to ensure the quality of life for the children that will one day take their places of power. Only by changing the current system can we start to make a dent in the problem.

who do the kids trust to keep them safe at school? — penny of clearfield, UT today my 8 year old sone was a victim of this playground madness which resulted in a trip to the emergency room.another student pick up a chunk of ice and threw it at my son leaving behind a gash 2 inches long and an inch deep in his forehead just above his eye. when are school officials going to realize that something more needs to be done to protect our kids?i also ask myself who is financially resposible for such an injury?medical bills,lost wages?it goes beyond being bullied when an injury such as this happens. the child that caused the injury was suspended from school for the day.some consequence considering what my child went though don’t you think.

Schools Need More — Mike of South Jordan, UT Yes, playgrounds need more supervision. Also, classrooms need more teachers. Schools need more administrators to deal with all the issues. We continue to send an increasing number of children with all kinds of troubles to the public school system and expect the schools to deal with it. But many, including legislators, don’t seem willing to provide schools with what they need to address the situations. Utah has the nation’s highest number of students per teacher and by far the lowest number of administrators per student. While I’ve not seen any data, I would venture to guess we also have the nation’s lowest playground monitor-to-student ratio as well. When will people wake up and realize our schools are doing a great job with what they have and could do even better if they had what they need. People say throwing more money at schools won’t solve the problems. How would we know? We’ve never tried it.

Biased Story, but Schools Can Do Better — Frank of Lindon, UT I agree with previous comments that the story focused too closely on a single aspect of a larger issue. Yes, recess monitors need to do less chatting and more monitoring. But how about mentioning that the Utah educational system is sadly under-funded? Why not tie-in a need for added parental involvement, even volunteerism, in order to off-set budget cuts and funding shortages? Sadly, there are too many people in Utah schools who are either incompetent or apathetic towards the kids. Maybe if Utahns were willing to pay for a public education system that could attract and keep higher quality educators, we wouldn’t find our selves so frustrated with our schools.

It’s just not the kids it’s also the parents too. — Von of Monroe, UT It seems that alot of the problem with kids that are bullies come from the parents. in this day of time parents are just to busy to take the time and teach there kids wright from wrong. When a kid dose somthing wrong the kid know all that is going to happen is there parents are going to give the a time out. Where a time out they are sent to there room where they have computers,TVs and radio the play with. This not sending any strong message to the kids. Where now the parents want the school to teach there kids wright from wrong. The under payed and over worked as they are. So now the parents can blame the teacher when there kids turn out to problem kids. Unstead of taking the blame there self. When kids are bad the need to have a good old fastion butt kicking.

No tolerance for Drugs vs Lame tolerance for Bullying- Sandy — Tim of Sandy, UT I drive by my local Sandy elementary school twice a day. Occasionally, I may see kids hitting others. I look around and see two payground monitors chatting, oblivious to what going on. My son has a scar on his forehead from a kid who whipped other kids with his backpack. The school did nothing because the monitor never saw this incident. Schools should looked at bulling as menace just as destructive to a child as drugs are. Enforced it with the same conviction they do against drugs/guns. Then you would have a safer school environment. No child should start every day with fear.

Keep the bullies off the playground — Christine of Sandy, UT My son was being kicked by another boy on the playground. We discussed different ways he could deal with this boy and no matter what my son did the kicking continued. I told my son’s teacher and her response was “ We will try and catch him in the act.” Not wanting my son to be kicked until an adult saw it I went to the play ground and when I saw the boy kick my son I marched him into the Principles office. The boy said it was a game and had been kicked by older kids, I explained to him that it wasn’t right for the kids to kick him. We were lucky this boy was sensitive and stopped kicking my son. My friend’s son was bullied so bad she finally let him stay home the last few weeks of school. Aren’t our kids entitled to a free and safe education. They now pay for him to go to a private school and travel 30 minuted to take him there. I don’t think it is a problem with the monitors on the playground, the blame lies with a Principle that won’t enforce a No Tolerance Policy, kids will do what they can get away with. I want to know from the Principles, how hard is it to keep one boy in off the playground until he can control himself and act civil to those around him?

No supervision for kindergarten — S of Pleasant Grove, UT I was excited for my daughter when she first started kindergarten. After the first two days I was shocked to see that no one was supervising the playground as little 5 year olds were dropped off. So as a concerned parent I stayed on the playground until the teacher called the class in. During that time I saw boys tripping girls, name calling and kids telling another child that they can’t play with them for one reason or another. The Kindergarten playground may not be as bad as the upper grades playground but the school playground experience all starts there. Where’s the supervision?

No Name Calling Week — Tami of West Jordan, UT I was happy to see that West Jordan Middle School participated in the National No Name Calling Week. As a parent, it brought my attention to this problem and I was able to read just how kids felt about this problem. See “nonamecallingweek.com” and the winning entries from 20 kids. Fortunately, my son was able to participate. He is not one of the kids that gets “bullied”, but is a popular, sensitive student. His teachers have given him the opportunity to work with special needs kids. I believe every student should take this opportunity. I watched on the day he was transferring out of his middle school to another, two other boys following him around, crying in the hall. I found out that these two boys are picked on by other students and that they were sad to have to say good-bye to a popular kid that not only accepted them, but protected them! As a parent it made me give thanks that this son has learned that lesson. It also made my heart ache, because I, too, have a developmentally disabled 6 year old who will face these problems as she grows up. It is my hope that parents and teachers together can help educate our children and help them FEEL the emotions involved with bullying!

Bully Cycle and Self Esteem — Craig of Provo, UT I’m grateful for the investigation to bring seriousness to an issue that I have felt has been long ignored and pushed under the table. As I attended elementary school in Provo, this very problem ran rampant throughout our playground. In third grade we were moved to a playground where kids from grades 3-6 played together. During that year I was severally bullied repeatedly throughout the year. The older kids would chase me, push me to the ground and then kick me and throw gravel on me. I would often run to the playground supervisors, who would completely ignore me while they carried on a conversation and brush me aside by saying, “go play.” The teachers wouldn’t let me inside the school and my parents only said to tell someone at school when it was happening. I know this devastated my self esteem and when I got in fifth or sixth grade some of my friends who were also bullied when they were younger, turned into the bullies. This is a devastating cycle where both parties just want some attention and protection. It was a horrible experience but hopefully one that can be spared for future students.

Why didn’t you stop any of it? — Alesia of South Jordan, UT I’ve watched all 3 segments and I agree that bullying is a problem and something needs to be done. My biggest concern is why those working on filming all these incidents did nothing to stop it? Why not alert the aides or playground monitors instead of just continuing to film children being injured?

Even in kindergarten — Rich of Hurricane, UT This morning my wife told me about my daughter’s recent experiences in kindergarten. One of the other girls has convinced all the other kids in my daughter’s class to exclude my daughter during recess activities because she isn’t 6 yet. If this were a one-time occurrence, it would have been no big deal. But now the whole story has come out that the problem has been getting worse over the past three weeks. The ring-leader finally came out yesterday and told my daughter, who up to this time had never had difficulty finding playmates at recess, that she had succeeded in taking away all my daughter’s friends. My wife said the contortions on my daughter’s face when she went to pick her up at school were heart-rending. The kids in kindergarten are easy to supervise because they aren’t out at the same time as the other kids. So where is the teacher? Why hasn’t she responded to the several attempts my daughter has made to bring the issue to her attention? My wife is going to the principal now, but not with much hope. I will recommend the school board next. And I will include KSL’s web articles on the issue, along with the comments on this comment board. I have a been a public school teacher for 15 years and find the situation both embarrassing and inexcusable.

Parent and School — Donna of Magna, UT I believe this documetory. I Want to thank KSL for that. My son has Been told he needs medication from Magna Elem. Because of this and because he was helping others also. He is now in Brockbank in Wrestling and sill doing OK in school. But most of all he is welcome by others and still looking out for others and still not taking crap from kids that need to beat on kids and he is looking up to building his life to something better he has good friends and he wants his friends to be safe. he is not big, but he put his word out there only because I listened to him. He stuck up for some kids and he did what he could now they are in a different world and differnet things and it is all good. I think This is the best thing that the school district needs to know that there is a problem and it is not always the Child that is trying to help or looking to start the problem but to look at the whole thing. THANK YOU, DONNA

Bullies — Stephie of SLC, UT There should be zero tolerance on bullying. I have been made aware that at Kearns-St.Anns it is happening. Alledgedly administration has been told, and the resulting response is “that doesn’t happen here!” It is another area to look into.

Middle School — Rodney of Salt Lake, UT I am a retired Middle School Teacher. I wish I had a dollar for each time I stopped one student from abusing another student in the hall way between classes, before or after school. Generally the response from the bully was always the same. ” We were just playing.” Anyone could tell simply by looking at the student on the receiving end of the bullying that he did not consider it “We were just playing.” . Principals and Assistant Principals need to take a leadership position in creating a Safe School Environment. If teachers do not feel that their Principal sees this as a important issue many times they have the tendency to ignore it also. Parents need to articulate their concerns to their local principals, PTA Organization and School Improvement Councils and hold them accountable for the climate of their own schools. If that does not work go over their heads to district administration and school board members.

Shame on KSL — Tom of Eureka, UT Shame on KSL for doing a story that inflames people without having a solution to fix it. Utah is a state that says it values its children yet we spend the least per student of any state in the nation. The reality, if you follow the money, is as a state we don’t value our children. We give lip service to caring and have been lucky as a state to have good people raising good kids being taught by good teachers but it’s becoming apparent that is not enough. Imagine if we as a state spent just the average of what other states spent (still less then Wyoming spends per student). First of all the money would stay in the state, it would be used to hire more teachers, counselors and aides to do the very things your report implies they should be doing. The problem why they may not be doing it now is not because teachers don’t care, it’s because the state has not invested enough to do what a modern education system demands to be done for children or to have the personnel to do it. Yea, the increased money the legislature would be spent on education would be spent hiring local people from Utah, who care about children, to provide a world class educational opportunity to them. Instead we have KSL ragging on a system that is stretched almost to the breaking point beating up the very people who care enough about the children of Utah to be in the schools with them even with limited resources. KSL needs to use its editorial clout and power of its broadcasting ability to show the absurdity of the legislature investing money in everything except in increasing the strength of our educational system. When we invest in our educational system we invest in ourselves, our state, our children and our future and it will pay back dividends far greater then we could ever imagine or get from any other investment.

Reporting the Obvious — Jennifer of Salt Lake City, UT This should not be news. No one should be shocked. Kids bullying on the playground is nothing new. If you want to criticize schools and place blame, think about the person you are tail-gating on the freeway, the person you cut in front of in the grocery store, or the person you pretend not to see in need. We are a culture of bullies, from George W. Bush to the little kindergarden child throwing rocks. KSL shame on you for making up stories…is it a slow week? I have a wart you could check out.

Anti-Bullying Website — Lisa of Wallingford, CT www.AGPCABINC.org Advocacy Group For Parents Of Children Affected By Bullying

bullying — Stephanie of Roy, UT Last school year my 9 year old son was both physically and verbally bullied. When the school was contacted they said they would talk to the boys involved. When the bullying continued I went to the school and talked with the principal, and teacher. I was told that my son, who is trained in Karate, could not defend himself, he should turn the other cheek and walk away. When he did walk away the child chased him and continued to hit my son. When my son did fight back he ended up spending the afternoon in detention. We were told he would be expelled for fighting if it continued. The school does have a bullying policy that the children sign at the begining of the school year. It is not enforced. What are we teaching our children? That we should just stand by and let some one hurt them. As adults we are allowed to defend ourselves, or press charges againest the bullies. The schools need to do more. They think there policies are enough. When a problem is presented to them, they do nothing or end up blaming the victim. As parents our hands are tied by the same policy that the school won’t enforce. They even threaten to expell the victim. This school year the boys were seperated, by my request, and there have not been any problems with my child. As parents what are we to do?

Bullies in the Jordan District school — Krista of Sandy, UT Jordan district is like Granite district. Dont let them fool you and say that nothing goes on. I have had troubles with the priniciple and now the teachers that refuse to help my daughter through the boys that tease, harass and yet bully. They think it is ok to yell and punish the one that is asking for help and favor the one that is causing it. Last year a 5th grader i do believe bullying my daughter and when she told the old principle he just up and told her that he wouldnt do anything because he is a good kid and he wouldnt have done that. Talk about rude and stupid.. Jordan district is a by far the worse district I have ever seen in my years here in Utah. If I dont see any improvement ever I will sue the district in the matter if I truelly have to to get the point across through to them.

Outraged Jordan District took offense to this investigation — Karie of Salt Lake City, UT Recently my son was bullied inside the school. The other person stomped on his chest and then proceeded to chock him out. I was told to the point he struggled to breath. Other kids pulled the bully off him. The child was suspended from school for one day. My child will live with the fear for ever! This is a phone call every parent hates to receive from the school. I am outraged to think that Jordan School District doesn’t like the investigation by Channel 5. This problem is for real and the bullying has gone too far! Jordan District step up to the plate the problem is for real your level of embarrassment to this exposure is nothing compared to the humiliation of what my child went through! He lost a lot of his childhood that day and we just want you to take notice and impliment some help!

my son got 2 broken legs from a fall at school — Jodie of Birdseye, UT It was during lunch hour and my son was on a playground equiment that has slides and like a fire pole and it has a circle in the middle so kids can slide down it well he was just sitting there and there was too many kids on it and someone pushed him and hell fell about 4 or 5 feet not sure but both of his femurs got broke and no one was there supervising the kids one of the kids had to go get help for him. I feel like there should have been someone in the playground watching them not by the door talking away. This is not the first time it happen last year around october someone pushed him off the monkey bars and broke his left hurmerous and ther was 4 other kids the same week that broke there arms at that school that just goes to show there not watching our kids like we think they should.

Schools protect the bad kids! — Todd of North Ogden, UT My son, while in Junior High, had ear surgery and was dealing with a group of boys that kept “bopping” his ears and testing him because he was the new kid in school. I approached the principal about it and he only said that he would talk to the other boys. He claimed he was powerless to the actions of the boys. Months went by and I found myself still talking to the principal. The principal still did nothing about it. He suggested that the school police officer should talk to the boys. That didn’t work either. I asked the principal to arrange a meeting with the kid’s parents and me. The principal said, “It’s against the school policy to arrange private meetings”. I asked him to talk to the parents himself to which he said, “It’s not an issue that should be brought up to the parents”. I looked these boys up in my son’s yearbook then I looked up all the people in the phone book in that school district and visited all of them until I found the parents. I informed the parents of what was happening. I also told them that I would place a restraining order on their son (which would send their son’s to a different school). The parents told me it wouldn’t be necessary and they were shocked that their sons were acting that way. A total change happened, these boys no longer bother my son. They stay completely away and my son is popular and successful in school today. The school system’s NEED an overhaul. I feel that principals should be voted into the position by the people and not protected by the administration.

please stop the bullying — matthew of farmington, UT hi my name is matthew christensen i personally went through 10 long years of bullying both in elementry and in jr high we went to the district and told them of the problem it did not stop they said it would be stopped i never saw them act on it the district is called davis county i think the schools are getting way out of control they are scared to punish the bullyies and the kids who are picking on others for the fact that everyone for some odd reason is to lawsuit happy WE NEED DISIPLIN IF THE SCHOOLS ARE NOT DOING IT THEN MAY I SUGGEST THE MILITARY LETS GET THEM TO DO IT FOR US THAT WILL BRING REASULTS BOTTOM LINE WE MUST STOP THE HORASSMENT AND THE BULLING WE MUST NOT BE AFRAID TO DISIPLINE WE NEED ABSOLUTE CONTROL THANKS MATTHEW CHRISTENSEN

Bullies in School — Maria of Tooele, UT I believe this story completely. I have a 16 year old son who was bullied the entire time

Message: Reed Cowan

Raised in Utah , Emmy award winning Reed Cowan brings more than a decade of journalistic edge to the airways each night. It’s an edge honed during anchoring and reporting time in Michigan and Southern California . A talented and versatile journalist, Reed spent the first three years of his time at ABC 4 as anchor of GOOD MORNING UTAH.

In 2005 Utah First Lady Mary Kaye Huntsman appointed Reed chair of her POWER IN YOU program in charge of abolishing bullying from our nation’s schools. In this effort Reed has written a book, produced television segments and spoken nationally. He currently makes himself available to Utah schools for speaking engagements on the subject and sees great results

Reed is the proud proud father of one son saying being a daddy is priority number one amidst an already busy schedule.